If you're reading this, YOU'RE AN IDIOT !!

Yup, you read that title right.. You're an idiot.. We're all idiots and it's about time that you all faced the fact..  We're all stupid too.  Stupid when it comes to quantum physics, stupid when it comes to brain surgery, and also in many other ways.

Big deal so what! You're always going to be an idiot and you're always going to be stupid on some things but the real question here is ARE YOU IGNORANT?  Do you IGNORE the chance to learn something new? Do you IGNORE that there's more to your simple and sometimes pathetic existence than what you know already?  Yeah dude, that's the real question.

Some say that "ignorance is bliss"  but in reality this ignorant person "chose" not to learn what was presented to him and now chooses to be stupid. He IGNORES the facts even though they're plain as day sitting right there in front of him.   This fucking sux and so does this piece of shit who calls himself a human being.

Let's take this ignorance up a level to all the fighting going on in the world.  Everyone seems to be on some kind of power struggle to be the best, or have the most, or reach the top. Once they get there, the ignorant detach themselves from those less fortunate and lack the love to share wisdom with others.

Kinda like all these fucked up religious wars going on in the world now..  The ignorant teach others to hate anyone and anything that's different than their own beliefs and way of living.  Yup, this is fact.  These idiots who are stupid and lack knowledge become ignorant and choose not to enlighten themselves with the things they don't understand or relate to.  Too afraid to ask for help or direction (like most male humans in the world) the begin a new life filled with hate.  The hate grows until they maim, disfigure, and harm others around them and they do it without a single bit of remorse.

Yah, I'm an idiot for writing this and you're an idiot for reading it.  I wonder just how fucked up your little world is but instead of being filled with dislike or distrust, I know that it's your life not mine and I know that I have to pay more attention to keeping my own shit in order and on the up and up instead of worrying about the shit you do.

However, I have one single poignant rule for my own humanity and that is to destroy anyone who goes out of their way to harm me. Not the guy next to him, but the one who actually commits an act of harm against me.  I will fight to the death with absolutely zero respect or remorse because they chose to invade my peaceful life and do harm. I will use every piece of wisdom I own to crush, conquer, destroy, humiliate, and set an example to others who might wish to do the same.  Best of all I do it all without being paranoid or worry about any repercussion from my actions because it involves ME and THEM.   Should someone else "choose" to engage on their behalf the cycle begins all over again with the new player.

Why are so many people so stupid in this respect..  We were all put on this earth to live our lives, to love our neighbors and to love our creator as well but it seems that there are so many pre-occupied with HATE that they have totally forgotten to love. They don't even love themselves anymore and I find this really sad.

Ya know, I respect everyone I meet..  I don't have to like them all but I at least know what the world compassion and sharing means. So how many of you Idiots reading this do the same?  No, don't pull you "go to church every Sunday" bullshit cuz you were probably the same asshole who slammed on his brakes and waved his fist at the old lady who almost hit him in the parking lot.  You don't respect others when it's "Convenient" for you. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME ASSHOLE!!!

Here in 2014 we have half the middle east fighting and killing each other because of what church they belong to.  How fucking funny is that?   Ohhh and we have black peeps in Africa who will die from Ebola, a deadly virus with no "cure" as of yet.  Maybe we should pick them up by the plane load and drop them off in Syria, Iraq, and the other nations consumed with hate and fighting..  Yeah, even Israel the home of Christ the savior.   It would make things real simple..   The people would either drop their guns and put their heads and bank accounts together for solutions or they will die from their own infected ignorance.   Wow, what a concept huh??    Wouldn't that be a true testament of humanitarianism!   I wonder if I'm the only one on the planet who thought of this?

Now read this right, I'm not saying we should extract the virus and use it to infect others...   Nope, I'm saying just fill a few planes with infected peeps and just re-populate them in these fighting areas.  Nature will do the rest all on it's own.  Nature is a funny thing like that ya know..   It doesn't know anything about love and hate or life and death. It just doesn't care, kinda like some of the rich folk these days who also don't care.

Yup, you're an idiot and I'm an idiot.. I just think with a wider outlook than others but that still doesn't make me any better of an idiot than you.  Just different, and different is good. Imagine what our lives would be like if we didn't have DIFFERENT stuff.  Imagine if we only had ONE COLOR! First, the very concept of a color or a word to describe it would no longer exist because there would be nothing to compare it to. Nothing at all.  Think about it. What's the color of nothing?

With difference comes contrast. Love and Hate contrast each other.  They're absolutes.  There's nothing hate'yer than hate or love'yer than love.   In the case of absolutes, if you eliminate one than it immediately eliminates the other because there is no longer a contrast to compare it to.  Pretty fucking deep huh?

Some days I wish I had a huge magick wand that I could wave and put the entire world into one big "Do-Over" mode.  Kind of like, a retro time-warp that we go back in time and start over but retain all of the historical knowledge we have today.  I wonder how ignorant people would "choose" to be or how much more we would grow.  Would we become more paranoid saying shit like "Don't do that..you remember what happened the last time" to others around us?  Or would we just live a more loving and compassionate life sharing wisdom and experiences with others?

Ahh well, enough of this rambling and questionable thought.  I have a fucked up life of my own dealing with health issues, friendship/loneliness issues, financial issues and so on.  Still it's kind of refreshing being able to journal/vent things on this blog.  Until the next time I guess...  bye...

Busy Day Organizing and Collecting

Busy day today doing lots of organizing and collecting of my pagan book of shadows stuff..

The big focus was putting together a bunch of Kabbala stuff for my teacher to share with the other students in my group.  I had gotten it about 10 years ago and apparently she can no longer find her pile in her office so I said I would hunt my stuff down, scan it, and pass it on for her to add back to the library. 

Me and my big mouth, what an EFFING job fighting the POS Neat Scanner and associated software.  First I had to dig the thing outta the garage, then clean it all off..  Then re-install the software only to find that the crap won’t work with Apple OS X 10.10.   Oiy, such fun..  So after about two days I ripped the thing apart and threw it in the trash..  then I deleted every remnant of the MAC and the Windows software promising that I will *NEVER* do business with the Neat company again.

Then my wonderful huz (God I love him so!) went out to Amazon and got me a “Doxie Go” portable scanner that runs cordless and saves to an SD card.

In the meantime, until it gets here, I can go through all of my stuff (a pile of binders about 2.5 feet high that I collected over 15 years) and put the handouts in order so they can be scanned and shared.

Now, next time we have an elder’s MA’AT class we will all be in sync once again.

Goodbye To The Wagners!

Back in February me and my Huz posted messages about changing our names.  Since that time, I have gotten lots of positive feedback but I've also gotten questions from others who never read the articles.  Soooo I decided to post both of them right here for people to be able to scan. 

MINE:

WHAT'S IN A NAME...

Well, it's in motion... After a long discussion with my husband, he's decided to change his name and do away with any remaining connections to his adopted "Wagner" family and to also alter his first name from Winfield to his initial birth name of Sven. I think this is a wonderful idea for emotional closure since his parents are gone and those who remain are oblivious to the world LOVE or FAMILY.

Since we're legally married in Washington DC, he asked if I wanted to change my name also. I assumed Wagner about 20 years ago when my sexually abusive, drug addicted step father (Sande) croaked.

So I thought for awhile and since his name is going to be Sven Andréas Wallin, I decided to move mine to Rikard Michael Wallin.

Rikard, (isn't that so awesomely exotic and cool?) and I can still be Rik for short so people don't have to call me a new name...

So there you have it FB Peeps!! My new name will become Rik Wallin over the coming months.. (by the way, in Sweden the name Wallin sounds like Vall-een)

MY HUZ

Naming Convention

Posted on Saturday, February 1st, 2014 at 11:42

“Wow, that was basi­cally an auto­bi­og­ra­phy,” my friend John said after he read my book, BRENT: THE HEART READER.

Busted. Brent’s fam­ily is full of goody two-shoed Duck’tards, who exude


 homo­pho­bia. Their idea of fun included phys­i­cal and emo­tional abuse and at least one case of man-on-boy rape. I’m not a “real rel­a­tive” accord­ing to them.

I lifted much of that from my expe­ri­ence with the rel­a­tives of the cou­ple that adopted me. They res­cued me from fos­ter care, and I am as grate­ful for that as I know how to be. “The sys­tem” was awful. Thank good­ness I only spent six years there. Almost imme­di­ately after I was adopted, I was diag­nosed with Hodgkin’s Lym­phoma, and the cou­ple that adopted me got me the best med­ical care that was avail­able. I will be grate­ful to them for that (and all the other things they did) as long as I live.

They’ve been dead for 10 years (mom) and 12 years (dad). That left me with a bunch of cousins who were able to abuse me with impunity. Way back, mom kept her rel­a­tives in line.

Those peo­ple hate gays and lib­er­als and peo­ple with scary health issues. I was always the Black Sheep in the fam­ily, accord­ing to them. Now with­out my adopted parental units, they got together and labeled me a dis­eased pariah. They came out of church and called my hus­band all kinds of deplorable things.

All that sounds like the rel­a­tives in BRENT: THE HEARTREADER. I humil­i­ated those abu­sive


 char­ac­ters in the book. I had some of them arrested and killed off one or two. It was great therapy.

Old say­ing: Don’t mess with an author because he can make the world laugh at you.

Now that my adopted par­ents are gone for more than a decade, I have no con­nec­tion with any of their rel­a­tives. In the­ory, I have a half-brother run­ning around some­where. He’d be a lit­tle older than me, but I’ve never heard any inkling

 that he even knows about me. My birth mother is dead, and I know almost noth­ing about the sperm donor. It was prob­a­bly a one night stand.

All I know about my per­sonal his­tory is that I am 100% Swedish. I remem­ber that they called me Sven before I was adopted.

So now, I’ve decided to fin­ish cut­ting the ties with all those peo­ple in my adopted fam­ily. They hate me, which is their loss. Peo­ple who know about atti­tudes say cut­ting the remain­ing ties will be therapeutic.

In the com­ing weeks, I’m going through the court sys­tem to get my name changed.

There won’t be a Win­field Wag­ner any more. My nick­name – Wynn Wag­ner – will become a nom de plume









 (or nom de guerre).

New name: Sven Andréas Wallin.

• First name is what my actual name was.  Sven means kid or young one.
• Mid­dle name – Andréas – is a form of Andrew. I really like Andréas.
• Last name will be Wallin because my hus­band likes it. The name means val­ley or pasture.

My ini­tials will be SAW, which is a lit­tle snarky (cut­ting device, not the ocu­lar pro­ce­dure). The e-acute in my mid­dle name is on the edge of snooty, so that’ll be fun.

What I’m not used to is that the world is full of peo­ple named Sven Wallin. I am used to hav­ing free access for user names because nobody claims “wyn­nwag­ner” or “win­field­wag­ner”. Sadly “sven­wallin” is already in use at all the major web ser­vices. The world is crawl­ing with Sven Wallin peeps. On a recent check, I was lit­er­ally trip­ping over “sven­wallin” user names, so I will have to get used to being part of a crowd.

The name every­body knows – Wynn Wag­ner – will be my pen name. Sven Andréas Wallin will be my legal name.

The coolest part is that my hus­band is chang­ing his name too, so we will con­tinue shar­ing our fam­ily name. This time, It is OUR fam­ily name. Awwwww.….

Keyboard Fetish... Yeah so what??

Ok, since I have been a computer junkie for the past 30+ years I've grown accustom to having a unique keyboard on all my home systems... Wynn says it's just a fetish but seriously.. I used to love the original IBM "clickety" styles for all my touch typing use...   But of course they went the way of the dinosaur when all our compu-stuff was moved to China.  Back in the day there was a competitor with IBM called Keytronics and they make some damn good clones of the chattering beast but they were still sold at a somewhat hefty price.
Well low and behold, I found me two of them on ebay brand new in the box for a whopping $9 each... One for my Windows machine and one for my MAC and I also found some MAC keyboard stickers that I can use to put over the ALT and WIN keys respectfully for CMD and OPT..  Wooo hooooo...

The best part about these puppies is that you can zoom along typing and beat the shit out of the keys and never worry about them sticking or not registering correctly when you're in the middle of writing you great novel. And best of all you get true tactile feedback knowing that you really pressed the key instead of this mushy jelly thing.

Next, you take a glue gun and you make two dots on the F and the J keys to accentuate the home row keys so you can find them in a jiffy and not worry about damaging the keyboard for other future uses...  ( Clever huh?)  Ohh, and this little puppy has the large L shaped enter key so I don't have to go through the mindfuck of pressing the Shift instead of the Enter like so many others do.  Gosh, I feel so giddy about this...  So yeah, I guess I do have a fetish for the right touch when it comes to keyboards and that might explain why I had so many boxes of them up in the attic about 5 years ago when we had our last garage sale.

Even though Keytronics was a good clone, working in the mainframe world most of my life got me seriously used to the IBM version and the majority of the ones I found on eBay need all kinds of plug adapters to use on the machines of today... <sigh>  ... so I'll just count my $9 blessings and continue my work in peace.. LOL

Sometimes Memorial Day Sucks!

They tell me that I'm supposed to be appreciative for the men and women that sacrificed their lives for the USA in the war.  But why did they die in a conflict that we shouldn't have been in the first place.  

The weapons of mass destruction that never existed.  The tyrant that was killed because he didn't agree with us or his own people?   Religious wars?  Huh?   

Next these poor guys come home and they can't get jobs, they fee like they're rewarded with nothing but shit and then they kill themselves?  This is memorial?

Fuck That!

I'm a brain injury survivor and I know what it's like to "loose everything" in the blink of an eye.  Career, Friends, Body Functions, and more...    Yeah,  this is now what I call "Rick 2.0" and he's more fucked up than "Rick 1.0" was a times but the 2.0 version had a tremendous amount of simpleton shit to learn that people of today simply take for granted.  I had to adapt to all kinds of negative challenges so much that I almost wanted to take my own life too as I screamed in my sleep "Why, Why, Why? What the fuck did I ever do that was so horrible to be punished like this?"  over and over again.  

What's worse is that little 19 year old bastard that did this to me and almost took my life, never took responsibility for what he did with the two simple words of "I'm Sorry" and it took place on Memorial Day weekend.  He negligence almost cost me my life as I saw all the ugliness of survival and psychologically accepted all the loss of who I used to be.   The first 5 years were hell and those who knew me, would describe me as an "angry young man' who was dealt a loosing hand.  

The phone stopped ringing, the friends stopped appearing and the social loss continued to grow and widen it's spectrum.  The snappy compu-techie-nerd who formed his own ISP DIVANET business including nine hand-built computers that ran in his home was now a technical vegetable facing little to no future growth.  

So I put food in my mouth, I put clothes on my body and the "chosen family" I loved and trusted and though would be there in all times thick and thin abandoned me when I needed them the most.  Yeah, MEMORIAL DAY is real swell huh?   

I remind myself how I had to re-learn and re-experience things all over again.  Some of them I not at all fond of.  I also had to learn how to fall in love with myself all over again too because the thing that looked back at me in the mirror was much different than the 1.0 version that I clearly remembered.  

I had to be able to answer the question "Who is Rick Wagner" and not use a physical attribute or possession or any kind of statement that referred to the past Rick 1.0 achievements.   I'm willing to bet that there aren't a lot of people in the world right now that can truly create a paragraph to this question right now.  Why? Because they get so wrapped up in what others think of them or who they're trying to impress that they can no longer impress themselves!

Yes, happy memorial day,  My name is Rick 2.0 and even though I'm forgetful with short term memory issues I still have a kind heart and I'm capable of feeling compassion for others including that for myself.  My physical condition sucks,  my sexual appetite shows up maybe once in a blue moon when all of the medicines allow my pecker to wake up but I still have a beautiful heart filled with life lesson wisdom capable of sharing with anyone who asks.  

I'm sure the Vets are in similar positions with emotion and pain that others around them can't truly comprehend because after eleven years I still become melancholy myself over the loss of Rick 1.0 all those years ago.  It's a thing that nobody else can understand no matter how hard you try to describe it, write it,  or draw it.   It's a pain that will lurk in the darkness forever and no matter how well we fool others to think that we've adapted and adjusted it's almost the equivalent of feeling as if we've been turned into a meaningless zombie that continues to scream to ourselves "don't give up, don't give up.."

Oh, and let's brainwash ourselves with this "God's Will" crap too... Yeah, Fuck God's Will.  If our guardian angels weren't at the goddamn titty bar, none of this would have happened, RIGHT? ...  LOL 

Sure, let's pass blame... let's blame the enemy, let's blame the weather, or the time of day, or anything else we think we can conjure up.   Do we ever blame ourselves for enlisting in the military knowing the  odds?  Do we blame ourselves for riding the motorcycle with our sexy leather vest and no helmet?  Hmmmmm, yeah right!  Forgot about that part huh??   

Hi, I used to be Rick Wagner 1.0 who was and asshole that thought he could outsmart the universal elements one times too many!   Now, I'm Rick Wagner 2.0 who's loaded with faults but is willing to continue moving forward and not continually try to dwell in a past that can never be reached again. 

Yup, for me, Memorial Day sucks and I suspect that it will till the day I die.  But, it does so in a way that I can never totally convey to others but know that there are other military veterans who can also relate to this pain and empty feeling of conquest achievement. I will continue to love and respect the 2.0 version as best I can as I try to look forward and follow my new dreams instead of the ones I had eleven years ago.  Those I come into contact with I will do my best to try and share this knowledge to cause them to play a personal game of "What If?" with themselves and / or those they love who have or  are about to experience similar tram in their own lives. 

Please, don't pray for me or sit there and say Awwwwww... cuz the sympathy doesn't make my blind eye, deaf ear, or lacking sense of taste or smell start working normally.   I've done my best to adapt and some think I've done a good job but,  still the Rick 1.0 loss remains painful at times in my own mind. I will quietly remind myself that I'm still here for reasons unknown but have faith that these reasons will be revealed at a later time to me and hopefully it will all make perfect sense at that time. Till then, this too shall pass and I'll put the razor blade down and refrain from doing anything stupid. 

To those reading this... thanks...  Just plain old thanks for being there even though your invisible and I'll probably never know you.

---Rick

Fed Up with Google's Nasty Tactics

Wow, yesterday my Huz, Wynn, became furious with the nasty stuff Google has been doing recording searches and purchases, eliminating Microsoft Exchange ActiveSync (EAS) so you can share your contacts and calendars back and forth with LIVE.com (which I also think is shitty). Google told all employees two years ago that they could no longer connect a windows computer to "their" corporate networks and if they attempted to do so they would be terminated.

Today if you wanted to have EAS with their shit you have to pay for a business account.. This is really lame and it proves that Google is incapable of "playing nice" with others.

Because of all this, Microsoft is currently at war with them and is doing a really good job of showing the world how they continue to offer free stuff but don't bomb you with spyware or shitty advertising like MySpace did and FaceBook is doing today.

Anyhow, he was so furious trying to get his Android to play nice with all of his stuff it finally thew the thing down, went to the T-Mobile store and got and HTC Windows Phone instead saying that even though Apple and Mickeysoft try to interconnect with "all" the services, Google has gone way to far with this "all or nothing" behavior and he said he wanted them gone.  He couldn't do an iPhone because they don't run on T-mobile and we both learned that this German company sure does focus on their customers FIRST and foremost! 

I don't think I've seen him this angry in a long time but it tells me that I wasn't the only one who was a little ticked off over this new Google 'bait and switch' crap.

I worked with Microsoft technology for 10 years when I owned and ran DIVANET Hosting and even though they might do something wonky now and then they never pull this favoritism shit that the college dropouts at Google are doing now.  Instead they've worked hard to centralize all of their platforms with a singular user interface, (except for their server stuff which I haven't seen in years but...)  This is what Apple tried to do with iOS and OS X but failed miserably.

HS has truly proven how to take a user interface and present it to machines that do and don't have touch screens and make it behave in synchronicity.  FACT with windows 8. Soon Windows Blue will come and it will change and evolve faster than every 5 years and I think this will really take off with consumers also.

I said this years ago...  MS is perfect for 'number crunching' and APL is perfect for 'making pretty' with different media.  I have long given up on trying to do some serious office management with Apple.  Don't believe me..??  Fine, then tell me why can't find any decent 'Flat File" database programs for OS X but there's about 20 or 30 established in the Windows world and OS X has been going for the past 13 years?  Huh??  Point of Sale=Windows,  Database=Windows, Accounting=Windows (and don't even think of mentioning the pathetic versions of QuickBooks Mac)   Instead, I have several wonks peddling MySQL (yuk) and other overly complicated shit. HELLO !!!    I just want to build a quick list of shit in my garage I don't want to launch rockets or rule the world.

I've learned not to recommend stuff to others because it turns into a useless pissing match.. instead I use what works for me cuz I run my Husband's home business that does a minimum of 27k in sales each year for the past 10 years proving to all the whiny bitches out there that they can be very productive right at home. So tell that cow at Yahoo to go fuck herself for telling her employees that they can no longer Tele-commute anymore.  Fuck, I did it for 13 years with my California based company http://www.hydrasystems.com/ very successfully.

Maybe they should have some college courses on entrepreneurial things instead of kissing corporate ass for a paycheck. I know people who fortify their retirement income selling stupid shit on eBay. If these old farts with Walmart computers can figure this out, how come the fools standing in unemployment lines can't? 

The State of Humanity

The State of Humanity

As a society here in 2013, why do we seem to be filled with so much hate towards one another?

As we drive down the road and another person cuts in front of us going half the speed limit we shake our fist and scream “get out of the way asshole” instead of making sure that driving instructors for our youth are focused on teaching students to avoid this.

We find it more important to poke our phones and text our invisible friends without investing more time to engage in things face to face.  We judge another person by who they know, what they type, and post on their online social hangout but rarely do we offer them any true comfort.

Have we advanced with technology or has it become a placeholder for true friendship forcing us more into isolation in the world?  Hate Hate Hate....  Why?   If you don’t measure up then I’m taught to hate you.  Why??  

And “what’s in it for me...?” seems to be the law of the land these days..  Rarely do you hear “here, let me show you how to do that...” instead it’s replaced with “What are ya, stupid? You never learned how to do that and you’re 30 years old?” Then we accuse others of being full of baggage.  

Why do Christians brag about how much they love Jesus and their God but the moment they walk out of the church they find more interest in the shortcomings of others and making themselves look artificially superior even though they know it’s fake. This is a loving person from a so-called ‘loving’ God??   Did I miss something?  

We plaster our social profiles with sexy photos of ourselves thinking it will lure more people into liking us till they find out how horrible and benign we really are. And then we judge others for their lack of ‘Truth’ never realizing how twisted our own morals are.   Wow, we’ve certainly come a long way in the new millennium but my question is when it comes to interacting with others, did we get closer or repel further away from the humans around us.

Why do the rich hate the poor and vice versa?  The poor see the rich as scam artists who don’t know what the word “work’ really means... and the rich see the poor as lazy and good for nothing with no interest in growth or learning.   Did the rich forget that they were blessed with abundance while their friends were blessed with challenges and poverty? They both went to the same kindergarten so what went wrong?  But did outsiders ever put them in a room together to determine which of them grew up with the most wisdom and humanity? Or even hate for that matter?

Have smartphones become the dumb weapon that shot us in the proverbial foot?  Have we turned into the 1970’s movie “Logan’s Run” with our need to dial-an-orgasm but with no true friendships with one another?  Some reading this, especially the youth, may think of this conversation as a ‘downer’ but the fact remains that social violence has grown over the past three decades. We even show reality stuff on television to further humiliate and applaud others and we call it “progress”.  Why?  Are there less sad and lonely people in the world compared to three decades ago?  Do we focus more on helping the needy and less fortunate or do we focus on hoarding as much as we can for ourselves?

Over the years I have been founder of several social groups but it seems that trying to get people with common interests together in the same room more than once is like praying for a miracle.  “Did you see the clothes on that bitch, who the fuck does she think she is?  I would never invite that thang to my house and mess up my white sofa and carpeting...  I don’t care how juicy Miss Lucy thinks she is, that thing better stay the hell away from me..... blah blah blah...”  We think talk like this is funny but, is it really?  Or, does it hide an invisible insecurity by the person who just said it?  Does the reader of this even know what the word “insecurity” means?  

I can’t help wondering if INSECURITY is the real thing going on here.  If others are so worried about fitting have they forgotten who the hell they really are themselves?  When someone asks them to say something about themselves, they offer a laundry list of bullshit that the other person wants to hear like a resume but never really connects to it with true emotion.

SO WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY SHOULD I SHARE MY TIME WITH YOU?

I’m learning that there’s a lot of people right here in this busy city who can’t answer this and it seems scary.  They can whine about their privacy, or the cost of gas, or the bitch next door but, when it comes to their own identity they are clueless.

The bible says “The meek shall inherit the earth.” I don’t recall it saying anything about the insecure or the clueless.  Even though the one with the most toys wins, what exactly is it that they win?  How to be an asshole to others?  Is this what get’s you into heaven or moved into the next astral life?

Why do we murder one another over different beliefs? Is a belief more important than a human life? Are all humans supposed to act the same, dress the same, talk the same and if they’re different they need to be extinguished?  Does this behavior also extinguish growth and enlightenment as well?  How can you ever learn something new if you killed those who could teach different things to you?

Sorry, but I like learning. It doesn’t mean I agree with everything I learn but it gives me the chance to envision and adapt to change easier.  In 2002 my life completely changed after being hit by a drunk 19 year old on my motorcycle. I went through anger, hate, loss, depression, acceptance, adaptation, love, loneliness, and lots of retrospection. Ya know what? Back then, I was a selfish person filled with judgements, dislikes, and always focused on hoarding as much knowledge as I could collect for myself and assuming the stupidity in others was by their own choice not mine. Boy was I ever wrong. Some of those people were incapable of growth because everyone else always ignored them on their own life quest.

I had to learn the painful balance of life and learn that there is a very fine line between good and evil.  There is no absolute regardless what other religious whack-jobs may say. Trying to live on that fine line is nice but you can’t be in that mode forever because you’ll never grow or be able to adapt to life changes.  

No, I don’t give a crap about power, or wealth, or being supreme cuz if we were all climbing the emotional mountain of life, the dude at the top is the loneliest person around. Nobody else up there on his level. Nobody at all. Think about it!  So what is the top dude’s great reward and accomplishment if he’s the only one?  It would seem that we teach our kids to “be the best..” at all times without ever seeing the brick walls of their little box at the top.  Nobody else measures up so why give a shit about them?   So how come they seem happier than I am even though they’re more stupid?  Could it be that they have companionship with others and I get to sit here all alone each day, every day?  Being the best is good? YEAH RIGHT!  BUZZZ, NOT!  Being the best is good only if you take the time to share it with others willing to grow too.  No, not force it on them, but give them the chance to seek more if they choose.

Knowledge is true power even more than money or material goods but only when it’s also shared with others seeking growth. Then it becomes the definition of WISDOM earning appreciation and respect in the return.  

Chew on this!   If life is all about learning, experiencing, and accumulating things and then we finally croak, we already know that none of the wealth or toys can go with us. Suppose that wonderful stuff in our mind can?  Now where’s the real power?  Now suppose that knowledge is going to be required to live and fulfill requirements in the next life?  Freaky huh?  What do you suppose will happen to the hateful, selfish minds after they croak?